Can I Get a Witness?

I recently heard a filmmaker say that best thing we can do for one another is to be a witness to their lives.  I think there is profound beauty in that statement.

I’ve done some pretty awful things in my lifetime. Nothing criminal- but I’ve been bad, I’ve lied, cheated, stolen, betrayed people I cared for and worst of all I’ve been ungrateful for what I have. Most of the time I was the only one that knew what went down. But there has been the occasion where my perpetrations have had an audience. Some of them victims of my actions, some of them by-standers. Either way they were all very willing to share their upset, disappointment, anger, hatred, sadness and eventually for some- their love and forgiveness. I don’t count these moments as fun but I do count them as valuable. Extremely valuable.

We bear witness to atrocities of humanity all of the time. The major and the minor. We intervene when we are moved to. Knowing the act has been witnessed grants a level of accountability. Whether or not we do anything with our newfound accountability is a whole other matter- another blog for another day. However, what we do have to deal with is – is that fact that someone else knows what we know. We are not alone.

You’ve had those moments haven’t you? Where you made the perfect shot in basketball or golf or flipped the perfect omelet or made the perfect cappuccino [my personal opus] or caught 36 pieces of popcorn in your mouth in a row or whatever you did that felt extraordinary and there was no one else there to witness it. Is it enough for us just to know?

Then there are the moments we exceed our own expectations either giving or receiving. We share ourselves so deeply and so poignantly that we’re sure in the next breath a blush of humiliation and embarrassment will consume every inch of our skin.  What do we do when we say or write something intimate to someone we thought it was safe to do so and there’s no response? Is it enough for us just to know or do we need a witness?

I have been privileged to witness the lives of thousands. The intense, the pensive, the explosive, the quiet, the sad, the hurt, the joy, the love, the bliss, the pain, the ecstasy, the healing, the laughter, the silly, the art, the poetry, the beginning, the ending, the moment. Reminders all, that we are not alone. There’s this word in Africa, Ubuntu- meaning ‘Humanity to others’, or ‘I am what I am because of who we all are.’ You cannot be human in isolation. You are human only in relationships.  Maybe that’s the point.